This past week I worked up in Schenectady and I was able to spend the week at my parent’s house and able to sleep in my real bed. I had a relatively good week. I work 5pm to 1am and I was able to spend some quality time with my loved ones. I should have known that this lovely week would take a turn for the worst…
Nursing homes are filled with all different types of old folks; some are old and grouchy, some are in a deep state of dementia, some are extremely nice and happy to just be alive, some are mutes. Within a one-hour span, I came across two crazies.
The first was a sweet woman, who all week was able to keep a smile on her face, take her medications when the nurses told her to, and go to bed when the nurses brought her to her room. Sounds like an ideal resident, right? WRONG. How about when Friday hit and she couldn’t keep her clothes on? Doesn’t sound like the ideal patient to me. I saw WAY TOO MUCH. It was scary and made me never want to age. When the nurses would come up to her to tuck her shirt into her pants or to tell her to stop, she would look at them like: “its Friday bitch! I want to take my clothes off and party!” It seemed like every time I walked down her hall, she was flashing me. The nurse said that at the end of each week she would start to undress herself in public, like clockwork. I think she was stuck in her old stripper ways and knew that Fridays were her highest paying day…thoughts? I didn’t think so.
You would think that this crazy was the low point of my day. Well, sir/ma’am you are once again WRONG. How about when I’m sitting in the front common room of the facility doing some paperwork when an elderly man unzips his pants and starts to rub himself? Yep, that just took the cake. I just about died! Not only did I once again see too much, he didn’t seem to care that there were other people in the room. While he’s whacking away, I basically sprint to get a nurse to make him stop. When the nurse enters the room she goes “George, what are you doing? You know you can’t do that.”
He responds angrily, “WHAAAAATTTT? I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!!” and swings at the poor nurse. When I say swings, I mean he threw a mean right hook and just missed her face.
Is this real life?
She starts telling him that she will take him in his room and he can do what he is doing in the privacy of his own room. He responds, “Why can’t I do it here? I can do what I want! There’s no one in here! GET AWAY FROM ME!”
Ummm, I’m in here… standing right in front of you.
After seven minutes of coaxing, he finally lets her wheel him into his room, leaving me scarred for life.
That was a Friday, I unfortunately will never forget.