WATCH WHERE YOU’RE WALKING!!!!!!

I was having lunch with my father two weekends ago when he told me a story that made me laugh for at least eight minutes straight. I am guessing half of the reason I was laughing so hard was the expressions on his face when he was telling me, but I’m going to try my hardest for you to get a visual.

My father was at Price Chopper grabbing lunch on a lovely summer afternoon. For those of you who don’t know what Price Chopper is, it is a grocery store in Upstate, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut and Pennsylvania.  Price Choppers tend to have large parking lots; they are open and have many handicapped parking spots. The nice thing about Price Chopper is that you feel safe in the store and in the parking lot because people are always around and they tend to be on the cleaner side.

My father is walking out of Price Chopper with his bag of food towards his car. Out of nowhere, a car in a handicapped spot pulls out and nails my father. The car did not knock him over because he’s build like a brick-shithouse.

An elderly lady opens the car door, slams it with more force than you would think she had and angrily yells “YOU NEED TO WATCH WHERE YOU’RE WALKING!!!!!”

My father, completely shocked says “Are you kidding me? You just hit me with your car.”

The lady aggressively huffs and puffs, opens her door, gets in the car, slams the door, pulls out and is to never be seen again.

Why do I find this funny?

  1. My father is 6’2”, well over 250 pounds and an elderly woman showed no fear towards him.
  2. This woman was extremely convinced that my father hit her car and not the other way around.
  3. There were witnesses everywhere but HONEY BADGER DON’T CARE.
  4. My experience with old ladies is that they’re sweet and kind. This lady was mean and showed no remorse or concern for my father’s well-being.
  5. It was the middle of the day. The only explanation is that this lady did not look in her mirrors or behind her to see what’s going on.
  6. My father did nothing. Didn’t get the license plate number. Nothing. He was in shock and didn’t know how to react which is not like my father in these situations.
  7. After the incident, my father just walked to his car like nothing happened, ate his lunch and continued on with his day.

 

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